Brave little Fox

I haven't really had much time at all to update on my blog, but things are going in the right direction.
Fox had his open heart surgery tuesday, he was 5 days old. His ox stats were down in the 50's then 40's then even right before they wisked him off they went down into the 20's. It was time for the surgery thank god he was going in the OR room his body wasn't really responding to the PGE meds anymore.
It goes without saying that, that Tuesday was the toughest day of my life. It was so hard and I was completely helpless, I couldn't fix his heart, and I had to trust the surgerical team too. We were told around 4-6 hours without any updates... omg I didn't relized they wouldn't update that was even more torture. The thought of my brave little man on the table cut open unconcious on the bypass machine was horrific. then as time passed so did the est time we were now approaching the 8th hour... and then the nurse came out. I was shaking .. the screen in the waiting room still said he was in the OR why is she coming out already? what's wrong? Well turns out he almost didn't make it (although we found this out later, glad she didn't tell us.) he was a bleeder as they call it and they thought they would need about 3 more hours. I don't think I stoped crying until I saw him 13 hours after we left him. he endured 11 hours of surgery. WOW how is that possible I truely feel as though he is ment to be part of our family, we need him just as much as he needs us.
That night that I got to see him was a lot harder than I thought. He looked lifeless. I won't go into to much detail on that .. because to be honest I don't really like to think about it.. he was even cold to touch and not much color.
He is now 4 days post-op and doing surprisingly well, for all that he struggled with during the operation the Surgeron and other Dr's are really impressed. Although he still has a long road ahead he is stable and with issues but none as big as before. They are taking about closing his chest tomorrow. That will mark day 5 of his chest being open that is crazy..... He still is not breathing on his own and he is still sedated but he is my hero. He reminds me of his daddy and brother and little sister they are all my hero and all so strong.
 Brandon is with the kids back home and I feel like I have a huge whole in my heart. This is the toughest thing I have ever gone through. Honestly way tougher than I had even imagined. But that being said I know we will make it through it and I'm so proud of my family.